Tag: Marriage

Does God Allow Divorce And Remarriage? 

Does God Allow Divorce And Remarriage? 

DOES GOD ALLOW DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE?

Marriage flows when a couple dies of themselves.

For I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of Israel, and covering one’s garment with injustice, says the Lord of hosts; you must then safeguard life that is your own, and not break faith.   —  Malachi 2:16.

But Jesus told them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother [and be joined to his wife], and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”   —-  Mark 10:5-9.

‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery’.  —  Mark 10:11-12.

It was also said, “Whoever divorces his wife must give her a bill of divorce.” ‘But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery’.  —-  Matthew 5:31-32.

Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?” He said in reply, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” …I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery. —  Matthew 19:3-6,9.

‘Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery’. Luke 16:18.

Thus a married woman is bound by law to her living husband. Consequently, while her husband is alive she will be called an adulteress if she consorts with another man. But if her husband dies she is free from that law, and she is not an adulteress if she consorts with another man. –Romans 7:2-3.

Here Are The Sins Against Marriage 

Here Are The Sins Against Marriage 

The English Royal Family – Duke and duchess of England, Prince William and his wife Duchess Kate on the christening of their third child Prince Arthur Louise.


The following are the sins against Marriage;

1. SEPARATION AND REFUSING THE MARRIAGE DEBT.

“But for fear of fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render the debt to his wife, and the wife also in like manner to the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband. And in like manner the husband also hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud not one another, except, perhaps, by consent, for a time, that you may give yourselves to prayer; and return together again, lest Satan tempt you for you incontinency.”  (1 Corinthians 7:2-5).

2. DIVORCE

And the Pharisees coming to Him asked Him:  ‘Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife?’ tempting him. But he answering, said to them: ‘What did Moses command you?’ they replied said: ‘Moses permitted to write a bill of divorce, and to put her away.’ Jesus said: ‘Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you that precept. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother; and shall cleave to his wife. And they two shall be in one flesh. Therefore now they are not two, but one flesh. What therefore God has  joined together, let not man put asunder.’ And in the house again His disciples asked Him concerning the same thing. And He said to them:  ‘Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another, commits adultery against her. And if the wife shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.”  (Mark 10:2-12).

3. BIRTH CONTROL

Juda therefore said to Onan his son: ‘Go in to thy [deceased] brother’s wife and marry her, that thou may raise seed to thy brother. He knowing that the children should not be his, when he went in to his brother’s wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother’s name. And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing.” (Genesis 38:8-10).

    1. What are the sins against marriage?
  1. Refusing the marriage debt.
  2. Unlawful separation.
  3. Divorce.
  4. Sinful company keeping.
  5. Adultery.
  6. Birth control.
  7. Abortion.
  8. Sterilization.


  • What is the marriage debt?

   The “marriage debt” means that a married person is obliged, under penalty of mortal sin, to give his (or her) married partner sexual intercourse whenever it is reasonably asked for.

Lawful excuses for refusing: Adultery, sickness, drunkenness, insanity, non-support, danger to an unborn baby.

 

  • Should a married person always insist on the right to intercourse?

   No, because a marriage cannot be successful unless it is founded on love and unselfishness.


  • Why is it a mortal sin to separate from your partner?


   Separation in a valid marriage is a mortal sin because —

  1. God said so.
  2. To separate means to refuse the marriage debt (mortal sin).
  3. A separated person is tempted to commit adultery or some other sin.
  4. Children cannot be properly trained.


  • Is a validly married person ever allowed to separate from his (her) spouse?


   Yes, but only for a very serious reason, and only with permission of the bishop.


  • Why is divorce and remarriage a mortal sin?


 Because it is clearly against the law of God.

“Every one that puts away his wife, and marries another, commits adultery: and he that marries her that is put away from her husband, commits adultery.” (Luke 16:18)
“A woman is bound by the law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty: let her marry to whom she will; only in the Lord.”  (1 Corinthians 7:39).

 

  • May a separated or divorced person keep company with another?

No, not if the marriage is valid, because such a person is still married, and a married person is never allowed to keep company with another.

“Therefore while her husband liveth, she shall be called an adulteress, if she be with another man.”  (Romans 7:3).

 

  • What is adultery?

Sexual intercourse between a married person and someone to whom he (or she) is not married.


  • What is the sin of birth control?


Doing anything before, during or after intercourse to keep the woman from becoming pregnant.

“Marriage honorable in all, and the marriage bed undefiled.”  (Hebrews 13:4).
“He [Onan]…when he went in to his [deceased] brother’s wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother’s name.   And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing.”    (Genesis 38:9-10).

 

  • Is birth control ever allowed by God?

   No, it is always a mortal sin.

“He [Onan]…when he went in to his [deceased] brother’s wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother’s name. And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing.” (Genesis 38:9-10).

 

  • What is the sin of abortion?

   Killing an unborn baby.

“Thou shalt not kill.” (The Fifth Commandment)

  • Is abortion ever allowed to save a mother’s life?

No, because to take away the life of any innocent human being, even that of an unborn human being, is always murder.

From just the medical point of view, abortion is not the safe and simple procedure it is made out to be. It can cause serious injury to the woman, and even death. Women who have had abortions become sterile and miscarry more often than those who have not, plus abortion leads more often to tubal pregnancies than in women who have not aborted their children. Doctors concede that it is always safer for the woman to come to term with her pregnancy than to have an abortion, even if this means having a caesarian section.

  • What happens to a Catholic who knowingly has an abortion?

Automatic excommunication is the penalty for this crime.

This means that such a person cannot receive the Sacraments nor have a Catholic funeral.

 

  • Can an excommunicated person get back into the Church?


Yes, if he or she is truly sorry for having committed the crime.

However, the priest who hears his confession has to get special power from the bishop to take away the excommunication.

 

  • What is sterilization?


Making the reproductive organs unfruitful, usually by tying or cutting the fallopian tubes, cutting or tying the seminal vesicles (vasectomy), or removing the ovaries or uterus (hysterectomy).


  • What kind of sin is sterilization? 

Always a mortal sin, unless the organs are diseased and must be removed because they are a danger to the health of the whole body.

A woman is never allowed to have her tubes tied nor a man allowed to have a vasectomy under any conditions, even under doctors’ orders. If there is serious danger to the woman’s life or health, the only solution in accord with God’s law is to refrain from sexual intercourse totally or periodically.

PRACTICAL POINTS.

  1. The sins discussed in this lesson are against the law of God and are therefore forbidden to everyone, not just to Catholics.
  2. If lack of money or poor health makes it difficult for you to have children, consider that, this is the cross Jesus wants you to carry and that He will give you the strength to carry it.
  3. Expectant mothers should be careful about signing papers in the hospital; they should not consent to a D & C unless it is certain the baby is already dead.
  4. Women having abdominal operations should also tell the doctor not to tie the tubes. (A woman who has had her tubes tied is not required to have them untied.  However, to do so is praiseworthy and proves the woman has true contrition for having had her tubes tied).
  5. Birth control pills often work by causing early abortion. The IUD is an abortifacient also.


    Source:

    http://www.olrl.org/Lessons/Lesson30.shtml

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    Forgiveness Sustains Marriage 

    Forgiveness Sustains Marriage 

    *Forgiveness Sustains Marriage*

    (Homily for August 17, 2018)
    _“I will establish my covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the LORD, that you may remember and be confounded, and never open your mouth again because of your shame, when I forgive you all that you have done, says the Lord GOD” *(Ezekiel 16:62-63).*_
    Our first reading today from the book of Ezekiel chapter 16 is a rather moving and very graphic description of mankind in its relationship with God. Even though it was addressed to Jerusalem as a city, this passage perfectly mirrors our situation even as Christians. We have been very unfaithful to God; our religiosity is shallow and we have often prostituted ourselves with other gods. Yet, this passage concludes with a line of God’s assurance of forgiveness. 
    That as a human race, we are not yet extinct is a sign that God hasn’t given up on us yet; a sign that God hasn’t divorced the human race yet; a sign that God hasn’t stopped loving us.
    Our Gospel passage contains what I may call the hardest teaching of Jesus Christ and coincidentally it comes after Jesus taught another very hard topic; forgiveness. Jesus explained that in God’s mind, there is no room for divorce. Moses’ law was a mere reflection of the people’s hardness of heart. Divorce, according to Jesus is equal to adultery, and the only exception for divorce is “unchastity.” Biblical scholars have researched the original Greek word which is translated here as “unchastity” and they discovered Jesus was referring to an illegal marriage not necessarily “fornication.”
    Just as Jesus’ teaching appears very hard to accept today, it was not an easy pill for His listeners to accept. In fact, His own disciples exclaimed: “if that is the case, then isn’t it better not to marry at all?” In other words, if marriage will trap me for life, why don’t I stay away from it completely by opting for celibacy? To this Jesus responded, “not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given” (Matthew 19:11).
    Celibacy is a gift, it is a calling not meant for everyone. Celibacy is not an escape route from the commitment of marriage. Those who lack the gift of celibacy or misunderstand the celibate lifestyle as a ticket to freedom (moral irresponsibility) end up extremely frustrated, unhappy, never satisfied and most often drop out later in life. One who cannot be committed to just one person is not likely capable of being committed to the demands of celibacy.
    So if celibacy is not a better option to marriage, how then are we to remain committed and happy in marriage for the rest of our lives? The answer is forgiveness. Before you consider divorce before you call your lawyer or even your priest to end what began in love, think of this passage in our first reading today; the fact that God is still there for us despite our imperfections. Be to your spouse what God is to the human race. Develop in your heart a kind of love that no fire can quench, a love that remains steadfast despite the hurts and pains which constantly come from your spouse.
    The truth is that this love is not limited to married couples; even celibates must have this kind of love for the church and the people in other to remain true to their calling and their vows. A celibate who constantly nags and complains about his Bishop/Superior or his parishioners is not so different from a man or woman who constantly nags about their spouses. As forgiveness sustains a marriage, the celibate who cannot forgive ends up dropping the habit someday.
    Let us pray: Lord Jesus, bless my vocation (marriage or celibate), fill my days with constant joy that I may never think of giving up on my commitments. Amen.

     

    *Be Happy. Live Positive. Have Faith. It is well with you. God bless you. (Friday of the 19th Week in Ordinary Time: Bible Study: Ezekiel 16:1-63, Isaiah 12:2-6, Matthew 19:3-12).*
    Fr. Abu.

    Marriage Can Only Be Between A Man And A Woman ‘We Cannot Change It, This Is The Nature Of Things’ – Pope Francis 

    Marriage Can Only Be Between A Man And A Woman ‘We Cannot Change It, This Is The Nature Of Things’ – Pope Francis 

     

    Francis discusses Amoris Laetitia, money, just war and psychoanalysis in new book-length interview

    By virtue of its very definition, marriage can only be between a man and a woman, Pope Francis has said in a new book-length interview.

    “We cannot change it. This is the nature of things,” not just in the Church, but in human history, he said in a series of interviews with Dominique Wolton, a 70-year-old French sociologist and expert in media and political communication.

    Published in French, the 417-page book, Politique et Société (“Politics and Society”) was released on September 6, 2017 in France. Catholic News Service obtained an advance copy, and excerpts appeared online.

    When it comes to the true nature of marriage as well as gender, there is “critical confusion at the moment”, the Pope said.

    When asked about marriage for same-sex couples, the Pope said, “Let’s call this ‘civil unions.’ We do not joke around with truth.”

    Teaching children that they can choose their gender, he said, also plays a part in fostering such mistakes about the truth or facts of nature.

    The Pope said he wondered whether these new ideas about gender and marriage were somehow based on a fear of differences, and he encouraged researchers to study the subject.

    Pope Francis also said his decision to give all priests permanent permission to grant absolution to those who confess to having procured an abortion was not meant to trivialise this serious and grave sin.

    Abortion continues to be “murder of an innocent person. But if there is sin, forgiveness must be facilitated,” he said. So often a woman who never forgets her aborted child “cries for years without having the courage to go see a priest”.

    “Do you have any idea the number of people who can finally breathe?” he asked, adding how important it was these women can find the Lord’s forgiveness and never commit this sin again.

    Pope Francis said the biggest threat in the world is money. In St. Matthew’s Gospel, when Jesus talked about people’s love and loyalty being torn between two things, he didn’t say it was between “your wife or God”, it was choosing between God or money.

    It’s clear. They are two things opposed to each other,” he said.

    When asked why people do not listen to this message even though it has been clearly condemned by the Church since the time of the Gospels, the Pope said it is because some people prefer to speak only about sexual morality.

    “There is a great danger for preachers, lecturers, to fall into mediocrity,” which is condemning only those forms of immorality that fall “below the belt”, he said.

    But the other sins that are the most serious: hatred, envy, pride, vanity, killing another, taking away a life … these are really not talked about that much,he said.

    The most minor sins are the sins of the flesh,” he said, because the flesh is weak. “The most dangerous sins are those of the mind”, and confessors should spend more time asking if a person prays, reads the Gospel and seeks the Lord.

    One temptation the Church has always been vulnerable to, the Pope said, is being defensive because it is scared.

    Where in the Gospels does the Lord say that we need to seek security? Instead he said, ‘Risk, go ahead, forgive and evangelise.’”

    Another temptation, he said, is to seek uniformity with rules, for example, in the debate concerning his apostolic exhortation on the family, Amoris Laetitia.

    When I talk about families in difficulty, I say, ‘Welcome, accompany, discern, integrate …’ and then everyone will see the doors open. In reality, what happens is you hear people say, ‘They cannot receive Communion.’ ‘They cannot do this and that.’”

    That temptation of the Church to emphasise “no, no and no” and what is prohibited is the same “drama Jesus [experienced] with the Pharisees.”

    This closed, fundamentalist mindset like Jesus faced is “the battle I lead today with the exhortation”.

    Jesus followed “another logic” that went beyond prohibitions as he did not adhere to customs – like not touching lepers and stoning adulterers – that had become like commandments, he said.

    Church leaders are used to “frozen norms” and “fixed standards”, but when they ask, “‘Can we give Communion to divorcees?’ I reply, ‘Speak with the divorced man and woman, welcome, accompany, integrate and discern”, which opens a path and a way of communication to lead people to Christ.

    Encountering Christ is what leads people onto a path of living a moral life, he said.

    When asked about the Church’s “just war” theory, the Pope said the issue should be looked into because “no war is just. The only just thing is peace.”

    Concerning the persecution of Christians, particularly in the East, and the question of why God would allow such tragedy, the pope said, “I do not know where God is, but I know where man is in this situation. Men make weapons and sell them.”

    It is easy for people to question God, he said, but “it is we who commit all this” and allow it to happen; “our humanity is corrupted”.

    Speaking about women, the Pope said they have an important role in society because they help unify and reconcile people.

    Some people mistake women’s demands to be represented and heard in the world with a kind of “machismo in a skirt”, but machismo is a form of “brutality” and does not represent what women should be.

    He said with the reform of the Roman Curia, “there will be many women who will have decision-making power”, not just roles as advisers.

    While he said he believes he will succeed in opening up more positions to women in the curia, it will be difficult and there will be problems – not because of misogyny, but because of “the problem of power”.

    When Pope Francis and the French interviewer talked about differences between the Argentines and the French, the Pope said, “Argentines are quite fond of psychoanalysis.”

    The Pope praised those psychoanalysts who are able to be “open to humanism and to dialogue with other sciences”, particularly medicine and homeopathy.

    “Those whom I have known have helped me a lot at one point in my life when I needed consultation,” he said, describing how he met with a Jewish psychoanalyst once a week for six months when he was 42 “to clear up certain things”.

    “She was very good. Very professional as a doctor and psychoanalyst” and “she helped me so much.”

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